Ethics, Tips and Tricks of Love Spells


If there is anything I have learned from the TV show “Charmed,” it is that you cannot do magic that affects someone’s free will. You can’t mess with a person’s ability to choose for themselves, otherwise a demon will attack you and your sisters…oh, wait that’s still “Charmed.” My bad. But you get the point. In magic, there is a real life balance between what you do and what happens after. Karma does have a way of stepping in, I have seen it kick in first hand. Furthermore, doing a love spell to try and get someone to fall in love with you isn’t a representation of love at all, anyways.

So let’s start with that last thought. Doing a love spell to try and get someone to fall in love with you isn’t a representation of love at all. Let’s pretend you decided that consequences be damned, you’re going to open circle and cast a spell to make “Emily” (let’s call her) fall in love with you. She is the one you think you want, and you’re convinced that her being your partner would make your life perfect. You decide it doesn’t matter what karma does or how the universe balances your actions out, it’s going to be worth it because you love her. So you cast and make it happen. Emily is now your girlfriend. How would that make you feel? Truly…think about that. She is your partner now, not because she wants to but because you made her. Every time she says she loves you, you know she doesn’t actually mean that from a place in her heart that she holds for you. She is saying it because of your actions. Does that sound like a healthy relationship to you? It certainly doesn’t to me.

Now, ruling that option out (because it’s wrong and immoral), what are we left to do? We’re witches and have control of our paths, so how can we work around this? I feel there are two ways.

The first option I suggest is to do a spell to attract love to you. Not a particular person (ie: A spell to make Emily love you) but a spell to attract love. You can get as detailed with this as you like, and I actually suggest getting into the specifics, but not using a certain person. For example, if I were going to sit down and do this right now I might take a piece of paper and write qualities and attributes I seek. So my list might look something like this:

  • Someone who is creative
  • Someone who is religiously open minded and accepting or generally spiritual.
  • Someone who is caring and thoughtful
  • Someone who is motivated and driven in life
  • Someone who will get along well with my family and also has a family I can integrate successfully with in return
  • Someone who potentially wants kids in the future
  • Someone who has an awesome sense of humor that I can laugh often with
  • Someone who has a car and a stable job/income

I could even get into nitty gritty like this:

  • Someone who is a few years older than me
  • Someone who has nice eyes and a charming smile
  • Someone who is taller than me (though, being about five foot one, this isn’t hard haha)

You get the idea. I’d also suggest the following tips for doing this spell, if you decide to give it a go:

  1. Do the spell on a Friday because that day of the week is ruled by the Goddess Venus
  2. Do the spell during the waxing moon to draw love towards you or when the moon is full.
  3. If you’re inclined to use herbs or blend your own incense, I’d recommend the following: rose petals or buds, rosemary, lavender, damiana, daffodil and vetivert. Be careful when including herbs in your practice as some might be toxic to animals. Do research beforehand and make educated and safe decisions.
  4. Burn candles that are pink, red and/or white.
  5. On a separate piece of paper, write down positive attributes that YOU possess and make you a desirable partner.
  6. Consider holding or including a piece of rose quartz if possible. Some metaphysical shops even sell pieces of rose quartz in the shape of a heart!
  7. Anoint yourself and/or the candles with rose oil

Now, if magic isn’t the route you’d like to go on this quest you could also consider turning inwards. Working on bettering yourself and learning to love yourself is an equally powerful act. You might start with a simple list of things you’d like to work on and slowly go through the items one by one. Drink more water, rest well, go to the gym or go for walks a few times a week, limit the number of times you hit the McDonald’s drive through for french fries, practice acts of kindness always and above all…work on seeing the good qualities you possess. You may have areas that need work, but you are a beautiful person that deserves love just as much as anyone else in this world. This leads me to one of my favorite quotes which I’d like to end on:

“You, as much as anyone else in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection.”

Love yourself, be kind and the universe will bring that positive energy right back into your life. ❤

Brightest blessings and love,